3 S.R. Johannes: I am no Super Mom!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I am no Super Mom!

My kids were stuck home today from school - for the flooding - and we went to the bookstore.
So did a ton of other moms.

A lot of them were talking about what they do with their kids and what they dont' do. Some of them i thought "I do that.". Some i thought "What? I would never do that!"

I realized there is a difference between Good moms and Super moms.
  • Super mom - helps her kids throw up when they are sick
  • Good mom - helps her kids throw up but..... in reality is gagging and about to throw up herself
  • Super mom - picks a paci (or food) off the floor and washes it off
  • Good mom - picks up a paci (or food) blows on it and shoves it back in kids mouth to build up immune system
  • Super mom - loves to play with her kids
  • Good mom - loves to play with her kids but... only for so long before she feels like she just cant be the dog anymore.
  • Super mom - never yells and is always calm
  • Good mom - yells at least once a week and then apologizes for "losing it"
  • Super mom - has kids who eat spinach and broccoli
  • Good mom - gets excited when a bad eater loves spinach pretzels at B&N and then happily counts that as one of the daily vegetables.
  • Super mom - is always dressed in super cute outfit (cape and all)
  • Good mom - is lucky if she gets to take a shower and throws on what is clean (or not)
  • Super mom - negotiate with kids in stores to avoid arguments and effectively uses time outs at the checkout
  • Good mom - lets kid fall on the floor and then asks others around if they want to "watch the show" (while waiting for fit to be over)
  • Super mom - packs a lunch for her kids everyday with love - keeping the four food groups in mind
  • Good mom - packs a lunch for her kids everyday with love- but some days throws in a lunchable and tells herself its a treat
  • Super mom - lays out the perfect outfit so her kid looks perfect for school
  • Good mom - lets kids pick out clothes and as long as they are wearing pants - lets the unmatched socks and contrasting stripe patterns pass inspection
  • Super mom - only gives kids TV if the American Pediatric Assoc recommends it
  • Good mom - commands "movie day" and sticks her kid in front of TV to get a break.
  • Super mom - volunteers to be the head of the PTA
  • Good mom - wants to be on the PTA and knows when the meetings are, but somehow even with best intentions never gets there on time
  • Super mom - loves to clean the grime in the toilets b/c "cleanliness is next to godliness".
  • Good mom - love to pay someone else to reach those places.
  • Super mom - loves to get up in the middle of the night with kids when they wake, go potty, or are in the bathroom
  • Good mom - does rock paper scissors with hubby to see who wins and gets to sleep in
  • Super mom - sings Elmo and Sesame Street songs in the car everyday, all day
  • Good mom - gets her kids to like Justin Timberlake and sing "I'm bringing sexy back"
  • Super mom - cooks homemade meals every night from scratch
  • Good mom - cooks hot meals from the four food groups even if three of them are processed and heated in microwave
  • Super mom - would rather be with their kids 24/7
  • Good moms - loves time with kids but sighs a breath of relief when kids are finally tucked in bed and a bottle of wine is already open.
  • Super mom - loves to share her food with her kids, giving them the last bite
  • Good mom - resents giving away the last bite b/c she loves sweets
  • Super mom - loves every bowel movement their child takes - 1 or 2
  • Good mom - cringes when she hears the words "Booty check!!!" coming from the bathroom (that also happens to be flawed in its flushing ability)
  • Super mom - loves being pregnant
  • Good mom - doesn't like being pregnant (really through the first 3 months of babyhood) but loves her kids unconditionally
  • Super mom - loves to talk about everything their kid does, all day, all the time
  • Good mom - loves to talk about her kids but only for so long then she likes to talk about herself.
  • Super mom - loves to play chase and run after her kids, up and down the playgyms
  • Good mom - loves to play "hide and seek" so she can hide in a corner and get at least 5 minutes of peace and quiet.
I have a confession: I am a Good mom. I will never be a Super mom. I'm Ok with that.

Anyone looking to buy a "never before used" cape?


Lisa and Laura said...

Proud to be a good mom over here. Super moms sound kind of judgy and awful. Good moms at least get to have a little fun.

Anna C. Morrison said...

Too funny! Especially about the immune system. I was a super mom in that department, though. There is no five second rule where germs are concerned.

Karen said...

I'm in the "good but not super" club, too! And, quite truthfully, I have no aspirations to be a Super Mom.

Casey McCormick said...

I'm a good mom, too. Whatever it is that keeps super moms running at such a high capacity, I don't have it.

But I'm okay with that. : )

Angie said...

So glad to know I am in fact a Good Mom! Thanks for the lovely and entertaining post.

Larissa said...

Show me a mom who does all the Super Mom things, and I will show you a robot. LOL.

I think the qualities you listed as Good Mom count as Super Mom in my book.

Heather Lane said...

I love the one about inviting others to "watch the show." That got me laughing. Isn't it horrible that deep down we think that maybe we should be super moms? I'm happy being a good one.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Good moms are sooo good. Hilarious post. Have you ever seen the film SKY HIGH? It is so funny. A kid has two superhero parents and is expected to become a superhero himself--but he seems to have no hero abilities and gets put in the sidekick classes.

Vicky Alvear Shecter said...

No such thing as a 'Super Mom' and thank god because we'd all want to kill her but we'd be too late because the kids would get there first. Love the post!

Suzanne Young said...

HAHA This is a great post!!! Made my day, Shelli, Thanks!!!!

Dreamstate said...

Beautifully written and hysterically true. I am proud to say I am in great company as a Good Mom. My motto: I love my children, but I love them more when I have some time to be something other than their mom.

Jessie Oliveros said...

Thanks for the reminder that it's okay I'm not a perfect mom, and that sometimes I spank his butt and feel guilty and look out the window nervously for SRS to come and visit...but that I'm a good mom so it's okay.

Being a mom is the best job ever, and the best thing is our kids are the most forgiving clients ever.

Kimberly Derting said...

OMG, Shelli, this one had me rolling! What's right below "good mom"? I think I might be that one, I definitely yell more than once and week and we're well past "I'm Bringing Sexy Back"...we've moved on to "Disco Stick".

Oh, and hells yeah I wanna "watch the show". I love it when someone else's kid is as bratty as mine! ;)

Kelly H-Y said...

That was awesome ... and hilarious! Love the 'flawed in its flushing ability' comment ... because those are our toilets too!

Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

Okay, I'm cracking up. Especially b/c I was the mom who dropped my little one off at preschool this morning apologizing to all the other moms and holding my hand in front of my mouth b/c I'd forgotten to brush my teeth this morning. :D
~ Wendy

Heidi Willis said...

What a fun list! You are so creative!

I had a conversation with a friend today who has kids from the age of 16 down to 2. She was asking if it's bad that she wants this last one in preschool when he's 3. Just for four hours a week of quiet.

And yet, I think after 16 years she deserves title of super mom anyway! :)

Diana Paz said...

Another "good" mom here! I feel this huge weight lifted in seeing so many other non-supers here, yay! For some reason every other mom I know LOVES playing with their kids and I feel like the troll mom who tries to trick them into playing games without me.

I laughed at everything on your list. Is it sad that there I've done every non-super thing except say, "Watch the show," but I fully plan to next time!

Lazy Writer said...

Yep! Good mom here, too. And, personally, I think the super moms have other issues, so I'm content being good.

Christy Raedeke said...

Mediocre Moms Unite!

Seriously, those kids with perfect moms will have *nothing* to write about when they grow up!

BTW, love the rock paper scissors one! So true.

C.R. Evers said...

Dang! I'm not super mom. However, I would vice-versa your super mom and good mom, because personally, I think super mom would royally screw up their kids from being so perfect. So really, good mom is super mom, because, she's so much more well-rounded. Just my opinion. ;0)

BronzeWord said...

Oh my goodness. I laughed through every single one of your comparisons. My "boys" are 34 and 37 making some therapist rich getting over my "good" mom ability!!! You reminded me so much of what it was like when they were little that I am so ever grateful they're not little any more. I know. I know. I should be a Super Mom and want to kiss those toes that were so small and cute. Thank you for the laugh. It was wonderful to hear from someone else.

oh oh the grocery store. A lady came up to my boys standing in the cart (yeah they could have fallen out and hurt themselves badly) and gave them each a penny if they would stop talking!!!!!

This was hilarious!~!!
Jo Ann Hernandez
BronzeWord Latino Authors

Kerri said...

This is what I needed to read today. Awesome! I'm definitely a good mom who feels guilt about not being a super mom, but I think good moms have more fun.

jenniferjabaley said...

Hilarious. Total good mom over here. Although, yell once a week? That might boot me out of the category... :)

Heidi Ayarbe said...

Just spent a week smelling like barf. Thinking that I belong to a "good mom" sub-category: Good, however very very tired, Mom so judgement is compromised. :-) LOVE the list. I'm totally anti-Super mom -- like those sanitized Christmas letters we get every year. Thanks for the laugh!

Suzanne said...

I think there may be one layer under this: Not BAD MOM... but maybe so-so mom? I fall into that category. one level below the good mom. Yikes!

Solvang Sherrie said...

I don't like capes. Or purple dinosaurs.

The first song I remember my 3-year-old son singing was "Crazy Train" by Ozzy :)

jdcoughlin said...

That is so funny! My kids are older now, but I remember those days way too well. Trying to be a super mom, at least while others were watching, but secretly praising myself for walking away from screamers, letting my kids dress themselves in halloween costumes as long as they weren't backwards, and picking up pacifiers up off the floor, I invented that, or my pediatrician did. Same difference. And my kids, they turned out fine.

Mim said...

Loved This!

Kelly said...

Hurray for Good Moms everywhere! :)

Shelli said...

wow - had no idea there were so many other "good moms" out there.

Love the mediocre moms unite tee hee!

taralazar said...

I get the feeling that super moms are super in public, but only good (or worse) at home!

The pale observer said...

Super moms are annoying! They become the psychotic sports/pageant mothers who end up killing a talented 10 year old that is competing with their 'perfect' deserving child...

I'm lucky if I'm a good mom....

Mary said...

That's awesome! Another good mom here. Super mom is my mother-in-law and now half of her kids won't speak to her. She is a good woman, but super annoying to try and keep up with.