3 S.R. Johannes: If I Ruled the World....

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

If I Ruled the World....

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If I Ruled the world...
  • Jeans/pants would never, ever be allowed that made your butt look big
  • Animals could talk
  • I could fly
  • Post pregnancy bodies would be "in" and "all the rage"
  • I'd call a "do-over" and start writing younger
  • I would have eyes in the back of my head
  • Oprah would be my friend
  • No celebrities would be able to publish crappy books
  • Money would grow on trees
  • No one could be a parent until they passed some sort of assessment
  • Everything would run off recycled trash
  • I would never have to get up before 9
  • Peanut MMs would be the recommended diet
  • Laughing would be a necessary as breathing
  • No children would be motherless
  • I could read a book an hour
  • Reading would burn 800 calaries a minute
  • Dogs and cats could clean up after themselves
  • I'd have a king bed instead of a double
  • Closets would come in a bigger size
  • I would help more people
  • All mirrors would make you look 20 lbs lighter
  • Cheese dip would be aconsidered a veggie
  • We would all be good to each other
  • I could freeze any moment of my kids playing - and relish in it - before it floated away
  • I could go back in time and interview authors
  • Cellulite was uncommon
  • Wrinkles would automatically fill in at the age of 35.
  • Our justice system would be better
  • The Willy Wonka factory would be a real place
  • My umpteenth book would be published and on bestseller list every time, making a difference
  • Plastic would disappear when thrown out
  • People who did not recycle had to pay more taxes
  • Animal abuse is a life sentence
  • No animal would be abandoned.
  • War and disagreements would be solved through: rock paper sissors or thumb wars
  • I would always be right :)



2 comments:

lisanowak said...

Ooh, I like that about reading a book in an hour. If I could get through all the books I'm supposed to be reading that quick I wouldn't feel so stressed out. And to burn 800 calories an hour doing it. Yeah, that's what I want for Christmas.

Carrie Harris said...

I'd like to take my post-pregnancy body to the Willy Wonka factory and not feel guilty about it. So you have my vote to be the leader of the world. There's going to be an election, right?